Hopes and Dreams

Do you feel like you were meant for something great?

My husband and I are struggling with this idea now more than ever.  Its a constant battle to work 7 to 5, 5 days a week, every week * 52.  I feel like the light inside is dimming, trapped in a 5'x5' cubical is not the life I want.  I come home too exhausted, no energy, no passion to live.  My free spirit is being ripped right out of my very flesh.  If I carry on like this I fear 40 years will pass by and I'll be doing the same ol'e routine, day in and day out.  Every single day blurs together and before I know it a month's gone by, now two, now three....

I realize this career is a new step and is expected to survive today, but I feel like I was meant to be out in the air, the sun, in nature, breathing fresh air and living every day how I feel like it was meant to be, at a slower pace.  My Bubba and I find comfort in sharing the same dreams.  We give each other strength to carry on with our daily duties, but when it's our time we dream, and we dream everything, from cattle ranchers to wall street investors.

But the question we keep asking ourselves is, were we meant for this type of life?

Burnt Meals the Whole First Year!

My poor hubby has to be subjected to this occasional cooking disaster!  I only intended to fill our house with wonderful warm sweet smells; instead burnt smoke lingered in the air. 

Needless to say they end in the trash :(.

Winter in SoCal?

My garden my bubba help me plant when we moved into our new cottage on the beach.  Unfortunately the unexpected cold weather sucked the life out of my beautiful flowers.  They made it through the entire winter and now that the "sunny" spring is here, they wither up and die! :( 

Love Birds Story Part II

My Mr. Brawny (but with blonde hair!)

Mr. Brawny

He appeared in my life just as unexpectedly as everybody talks about, love really does find you when you’re not looking for it.  I had just recently ended a relationship of three years, and I was now looking to party and live up my life I had missed in high school.  But life had other plans for me..... 

It was the first day of the fall semester, my best friend and I were waiting anxiously in our seats for our crazy human sexuality class to start(believe me this would not be the first class I would have picked but it was a requirement for my general education credits).  The class was unbelievably packed, students standing outside the door, apparently it was a popular.  Twenty minutes into the class the door opens and the last student walks in.  Except he didn't look like a student, he was too rugged and to handsomehe to be sitting in a class with a bunch of doppy college students, learning about anatomy parts.  He was tall and built like a man, he was wearing a black t-shirt with jean pants, a black ball cap, and converse shoes.  He was Mr. Brawny, so sexy, so manly!  But yet something so simple and irresistible. He walked right past me and stood in the back of the room.  I remember leaning to my friend and saying, "Boy he's cute, and really tall!"  I couldn't get him out of my mind, I was partially jittery, partially nervous, partially head of heals.  For the first time class ended to quickly, I wanted to sit there and day dream about this mystery man.  But it wouldn't be till next week would I get another glimpse as Mr. Brawny.  I walked to my next class all the way across campus, dreaded calculus II.  I walked directly to the back of the class, last row, back seat.   I was not the volunteer type nor did I want to be involuntarily picked on.  The back was comfortable, it was my safe zone, I was not about to abandon it now.

As the teacher started to introduce himself, he walked in.  My tall handsome irresistible man!  I couldn’t control my excitement and nerves, I had butterflies like crazy.  I had never ever felt so instantly attracted to someone I hadn’t even spoken too. What was happening to me?  Of course everything the teach said from that point was utterly useless to me.  I felt like a little school girl with a big crush, I heart Bobby, Bobby + Me = Forever, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, except this was ten times worse.  My mind thought about everything, 'well he's in Calculus II, he must be smart.  Oh a smart man is so attractive, he could help me with my homework, could I ask him for help?  What was his major? Where did he live? What would it be like to be wrapped up in those big strong arms of his........' and before I knew it class was over again.  Time was a precious commidity to accomidate my day dreaming and I was not getting enough, something had to be done.

Every class I went to the rest of the week, he was in.  The odds of planning the exact same schedule that early on in your college career is highly unlikely, at least when you attend one of the biggest schools in the country!  This was a sign, something that could not be ignored, I had to talk to him, but how could this shy girl muster up the courage?  But I had to, there was no turning back now!

The Love Birds Story Part 1

Good First Impressions Lead to Lasting Ones:

As I’ve been told since childhood, introductions are key; when writing, introductions should be the attention grabber, the hook, the sweet dessert before the meal.  But what they lack to tell is introductions are the hardest, not just when writing, when speaking as well; shake the hand with a firm grip, stand tall, assert confidence, smile, remember their name, and on and on and on.  Introductions are stressful and exhausting.  But if I have learned one thing its stick to what you know, well I know this, I recently married the love of my life, the sun to my universe, the meat to my potatoes, and when doing so unconsciously entered a new realty, so strange, so new, an uncharted water.

Before I get ahead of myself a little background information might help you to understand this anonymous blogger.

I grew up in sunny Southern California, not more than a few miles from the beach.  The house I call home is in a middle-upper class neighborhood where house mom’s still existed (ironically except my family).  Needless to say we were the black sheep of the neighborhood.  Our house was the only one not remolded, still till this day it remains in its original, one-storied, 1950’s condition.

Growing up I always went to friend’s houses, I never brought them to mine.  Embarrassment can go a long way when the house has old yellow carpets, the original brown 50’s kitchen, and the paisley blue wallpaper.  Growing up in a society where the house orderliness is a sign of status, I couldn’t bear to have outsides look into our reality.  It wasn’t till years later did I realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I had the most beautiful family.

College was when my world expanded beyond Jo’s Jeans, Steve Madden Pumps, and Starbucks Coffee.  But yet I still did not expand beyond my parent’s place of living; I commuted to a California State College.  I watched all my friends travel across the country and experience a new life, while I was consumed in my own saddened emotion of not being able to share the same opportunity.  But as I took on a difficult engineering program I no longer had time to hope and dream of the unknown world.   I did not realize then but I had a destined plan, a plan heading full speed into the arms of the most amazing man………….